Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
