his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
