I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
