she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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