You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
