ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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