I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
