Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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