u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
