Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
