Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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