just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
