i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
