she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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