girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
