Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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