Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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