I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need moral support for this bender
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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