she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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