i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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