god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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