Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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