I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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