Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
