JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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