p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
