Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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