My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
my liver is dry heaving
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
