I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
