SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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