Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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