I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
