Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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