Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
