who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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