What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
