In the future we'll all be gay
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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