K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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