after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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