In the future we'll all be gay
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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