I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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