i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
