I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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