i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
