similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize