I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
