Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
