What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
