So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
