ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
