apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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