I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
